Category: Fridays with Freddie

Fridays With Freddy: Am I Aging?

Shari

Half of these pictures were taken one year ago today. The other half were taken a few moments ago. Question – is it just me, or am I aging and growing at the speed of sound? The biped looks more or less the same, but I’m damn near unrecognizable. How is that possible? How large will I become? At this rate, I’ll be the size of a horse by 2018. I’m worried. Fred Mike’s Facebook Page

Fridays With Freddy: Women

Shari

Women. Every time I think I understand them, something inexplicable occurs. Last week for instance, I was taking my biped on his usual stroll through the finer parts of Cow Hollow, watching with my usual bemusement as he went about the business of meeting and greeting the hoi polloi, when out of nowhere a pack of females descended upon me with a level of urgency not typically associated with a random sidewalk encounter. In and of itself, this level of excitement is not unusual. I am adorable, after all, and people are often compelled to grope and ogle me on Read More

Fridays With Freddy: Let Them Eat Cake!

Shari

“Qu’ils mangent de la brioche!” Little help, si vous plait? On our morning stroll, the biped stopped to consider this sign, which he described as “ironic.” Is it? I found it merely sarcastic, or perhaps sardonic, with a touch of snark. But maybe I’m wrong? The sign is an advertisement for Kara’s cupcake shop. Kara makes delicious gourmet treats that I’m not allowed to have on account of chocolate being deadly. (Is that ironic, or just tragic?) Kara’s delicious cupcakes cost over $3 a piece, which may or may not be a problem, assuming you have a job, and some Read More

Fridays With Freddy: Considerate Waypoints

Shari

What the hell is going on in Pacific Heights? Every day this week, someone has left a random mattress lying around on the sidewalk. It’s like the week after New Years, except the discarded trees have been replaced with discarded mattresses. What does it all mean? At first, I thought the City had organized some sort of Mattress Collection Initiative. This is after all, a fairly sophisticated zip code, wracked with a famously guilty conscience. So it’s not beyond the realm of reason to suppose that City officials might have green-lit some grand recycling project specifically designed to alleviate the Read More

Fridays With Freddy: Fetch by His Rules?

Shari

From what I’ve seen, the biped is not an idiot. So why does he talk to me like one? Does he really think I don’t get it? Does he really imagine that my brain is incapable of grasping the concept of chasing the ball, getting the ball, returning the ball, and repeating? Let me be clear. Dropping the ball in the sand five feet from where His Majesty wants me to is satisfying in ways that I can’t begin to articulate. Running past him without dropping the ball into his outstretched and demanding hand is perhaps the most fulfilling moment Read More