UPDATE: SOLD $575! Congratulation Winner!
Last week, my friend Amy stopped by the office with a toilet, and it was delicious. Everything about it was edible, including the turds floating in the bowl. They were in fact brownies, perfectly formed to resemble the last thing you’d want to put in your mouth, and magically suspended in blue water that turned out to be jello.
The results were both disgusting and delicious, creating in Chuck’s mind a level of cognitive dissonance that prompted him to throw up in his mouth a little, even as he managed to get every last piece of fake poop down his well-muscled throat. Barsky was also on hand, and consumed half the toilet single-handedly – doing quite a job on the rim, I might add. But I digress.
Amy is the best baker I know. She cooks for Al Pacino and lots of other famous people, and wanted to contribute something to my C.R.A.P. fundraiser. So along with the edible commode, (not for sale,) she arrived with a few dozen delicious cookies that somehow bore my likeness. How she accomplished this is a great mystery, but they were magnificent, and afforded me the rare opportunity to eat myself. I’m now pleased to offer you the same opportunity.
Thanks to the miracle of overnight shipping, Amy Disston, Baker to the Stars, has agreed to bake two dozen elaborately decorated, delicious sugar-cookies, festooned with various images of your’s 
truly, and send them forthwith to the address of the highest bidder.
Please watch the attached video to see just how absurdly talented this woman is, (as well as Barsky’s lack of a gag reflex,) and permit me to present for your consideration a piece of C.R.A.P. that’s truly in good taste.
As always proceeds go to our Work Ethic Scholarship Program. Watch and bid extravagantly here. https://mikerowe.com/shows/c-r-a-p/
Bon appetite,
Mike
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