I Awoke Today as Old as the National Speed Limit

On the positive side, I awoke.

My electronic devices are humming with well-wishes from Dirty Jobbers, thoughtful texts from high school friends, encouraging emails from work associates, and lots of amusing salutations from old friends well-met and well-remembered. Funny how your pals from the old days get more important as the years pass.

In my newsfeed, I just learned I share this birthday with Grover Cleveland, Peter Graves, Charlie Pride, and Vanessa Williams. Interesting company, by any standard.

In my mailbox, I found some interesting photos from what appears to be a secret admirer, not suitable for sharing. Or keeping. The card however, was charming, and much appreciated.

At my office, a cake arrived from my friends at Zip Recruiter, which my employees have already eaten. Serves me right for not being there to sign for it personally. Thanks anyway, Zip! Next year, I’ll make sure you have my home address.

In other news, my parents just sent the attached. I believe it speaks for itself. Then again, it could be rife with hidden meaning, which I’ll let you decipher. Regardless, it’s a heck of a wake-up call, and impossible to listen to just once.

As for the rest of you, thanks again for thinking of me on this day, and remember me fondly when you drive 55, if indeed you can. (Like Sammy Hagar, I’m afraid I cannot.) I’d love to chat, but Freddy, who many of you claim to miss, is demanding his morning constitutional, as if this day is no different than any other. And the consequences of ignoring the dog, are indeed dire…


Mike’s Facebook Page