About Your Father: Birthday Present Pre-order

I just got off the phone with my mother, who is celebrating her 82nd birthday today by playing cards in the lobby of a Comfort Inn somewhere with my father and youngest brother. Last night, she slept for approximately half-an-hour on the “auto-train,” which my father insisted on taking from Baltimore, so that he can have his car in West Palm, while visiting my other brother. I feel sorry for my mother, and somewhat guilty for not having an address to send her flowers, or some other token of my affection. So I did the only thing I could do Read More

Flying to Chicago with the Parents

Flying to Chicago with the parents, who are recently recovered from the flu. The doctor allowed them to travel, but advised them to take every precaution… Mom: Michael, will it embarrass you if we wear our surgical masks on this flight? Mike: Not if you’re performing surgery. Dad: Don’t be a smart guy. We’re strapped into a giant Petri dish. The doctor says these masks could save our lives! Mike: Only if your wife actually puts the mask over her nose. Mom: I don’t like it over my nose. It fogs up my glasses. Dad: Then what’s the point? The Read More