Fridays With Freddy: Send in the Clones

Freddy – What the hell? Where have you been. When are you coming back? What gives? It’s Friday! Come on already – you have responsibilities here!

Carol Atwell

Hi Carol

I get it. You adore me. You miss me. Life without me is a hollow shell, blah, blah, blah. Look Carol, I’m flattered and all, but try to understand – I got a lot going on. There’s a new cat in the neighborhood that requires constant monitoring, and the Corgi across the way – an emotional support dog, ironically – has become unexpectedly needy. Plus – I just figured out if I lick myself with my eyes shut it feels like somebody else. Point is, I’m totally jammed up. However…

If you’re genuinely bereft over my protracted absence, why not consider a more permanent relationship with one of my many clones? Over the last few years, to my initial horror and eventual acceptance, I’ve been inundated with images of other canines that bear an uncomfortable resemblance to yours truly. Today’s example is a one-year old terrier mix, currently incarcerated in what appears to be a minimum security small-dog facility in Phoenix. According to his curriculum vitae – attached below – his name is “Spikey,” which is unfortunate, and he’s a “low-shed, ten pound, Terrier Mix.” This of course is code for, “I’m part asshole, I shed like crazy, and I bark at my own shadow.”

But hey – different strokes for different folks, and if you like the cut of my jib, maybe you’ll find some personal enrichment with Spikey. The resemblance is uncanny. The only real downside is his use of the language, which appears consistent with that of an 12-year old biped with a mild learning disability. Then again, it could be part of a ruse to enhance his appeal among a certain demographic. God knows, I’m guilty of the same sort of manipulation when it suits me.

Anyway Carol, I’d love to chat, but I really gotta bounce. The Corgi and the cat are rolling around on the welcome mat. Even here in San Francisco, I’m pretty sure that’s frowned on…


From Arizona Small Dog Rescue…

“I’m Spikey, a 1-year old male Terrier mix. I’m low shed and weigh about 10 lbs. My previous owners couldn’t provide proper care so now I’m looking for a new home. I’m a very good boy. I’m a little shy at first but will quickly show you my friendly and playful side. I love everyone I meet and have even lived with kids as young as 5 years old. I get along great with other dogs of all sizes and I would love to have a furry companion to play with! I lived outside most of my life so I will need some direction in the potty training department. I’m eager to please so I learn quickly. I am so smart! I know commands like, “sit, down, come.” Come see me!”

(Adoption fee is $260. This dog is altered, up to date on vaccines, microchipped, licensed, and vet checked. The adoption comes with 30 days of free pet insurance and a free vet visit. To do a meet and greet, come to the rescue location at 1102 W Hatcher Road in Phoenix AZ 85021, open Tues-Sun 11 am to 6 pm. Give us a call on the weekends for location as we have offsite adoption events that some of our dogs attend; 602-944-2440

Mike’s Facebook Page