and Horrify Half the Country.”
I’m very pleased to announce that mikeroweWORKS is about to award over $600,000 in work ethic scholarships. This is our biggest, one-time allotment ever, and it makes me very proud. In all, we have selected 151 recipients. I want to congratulate each of them, and thank everyone who applied.
Secondly, I want to thank this community for dramatically over-bidding on the endless collection of C.R.A.P. (Collectibles, Rare And Precious) from my dirty garage over the years. Your generosity has been at the heart of this perpetual telethon, and I’m very grateful. Likewise, I appreciate the generous support from Benjamin Franklin Plumbing, Mister Sparky, One Hour Heating and Air, Federal-Mogul Motorparts, and Universal Technical Institute. Thanks to their help, we’ve so far awarded nearly $4 million in work-ethic scholarships. Pretty cool.
Additionally, we received some extraordinary support at the last minute. Thanks to a lot of very positive press, the number of qualified applicants exceeded the amount we expected. By a lot. Consequently, the money we had set aside fell far short of what we needed. Thanks to The Charles Koch Foundation, and some additional assistance from Universal Technical Institute, we were able to help many more people seeking training. Thank you both – I’m grateful.
Finally, a quick thanks to the folks at my office who did the wet work. Mary, Jordan, Chuck, Joey, and especially Jade – who slept on the sofa more than once, plowing through the paperwork. A dirty job indeed. Thanks everyone.
Of course, giving away money leads invariably to new and increasingly non-traditional attempts to replenish the coffers, which brings me to “A Most Unusual Announcement Guaranteed to Help Close America’s Skills Gap and Horrify Half the Country.”
As some of you might recall, I auctioned off my ratty old bathrobe several months ago, which raised $8,500 dollars for our scholarship fund. Shortly thereafter, I commented that a better bathrobe, one from Trump Tower and signed by Donald J. Trump, just might raise enough money to close the skills gap. (I also suggested that a tasteful pantsuit from Hillary Clinton, or a similar bathrobe from President Bill Clinton – either of which I’d happily model – would be a most welcome auction item for mikeroweWORKS.)
Well, thanks to the magical synapses of social media, I am now in receipt of a genuine Trump bathrobe – hand delivered to me a few weeks ago in Baltimore, by a whirling dervish named Tana Goertz who works for Mr. Trump. As the attached video attests, Donald Trump is not only aware of mikeroweWORKS, he supports our objectives, and apparently took my challenge at face value. So, here’s the deal.
mikeroweWORKS is auctioning off a bathrobe from Trump Tower, signed by the man himself. 100% of the proceeds will benefit the mikeroweWORKS. We’ll accept bids over the next ten days, starting now, and ending Monday, August 1st. Go here to bid. [UPDATE: Great result! $15,750! Congratulations to the winner and thank you to all who bid!]
Finally, three quick thoughts.
First, to those voting for Mr. Trump, let me say this. This is not merely a bathrobe; this is a piece of history – the only garment in the world worn by me, and signed by a man who could very likely become the 45th President of these United States. Regardless of how much you admire Mr. Trump – this thing is going to worth a fortune one day. So, if you wish to reward work-ethic and close America’s skills gap by training people for jobs that actually exist, bid high, bid often, and thanks in advance.
Secondly, to those NOT voting for Mr. Trump, let me say this. This is not merely a bathrobe; this is a piece of history – the only garment in the world worn by me, and signed by a man who could very likely become the 45th President of these United States. Regardless of how much you despise Mr. Trump – this thing is going to be worth a fortune one day. So, if you wish to reward work ethic and close America’s skills gap by training people for jobs that actually exist, bid high, bid often, and thanks in advance.
Thirdly, to those of you who are shocked and appalled that I would call attention to Mr. Trumps candidacy, get over it. This is not an endorsement. This is fundraising, pure and simple. Like Blanche DuBois, my foundation depends upon the kindness of strangers, and closing the skills gap has nothing to do with personal politics – mine or yours. Moreover, if Hillary (or Bill,) actually comes across with a pantsuit, (or a robe,) from their wardrobe in Chappaqua, I’ll auction it off with the same level of enthusiasm and gratitude. I promise.
Check out the video. It speaks for itself.
And let the love fest begin…