Off he Wall
“A Shor reaise On he roubles Wih yping a Facebook Pos a hiry- Seven housand Fee Wihou a erribly Imporan Leer.”
he roubles wih yping a Facebook pos a hiry-seven housand fee wihou a erribly imporan leer are almos oo counless o quanify.
For sarers, you can’ chasise rolls, or hank hose who ake he ime o share posiive commens wihou sounding posiively incoheren. (And le’s face i, wha would Facebook be wihou people rying o express heir graiude or heir conemp for his or ha?)
oday hough, i was no my inenion o do eiher of hose hings. oday, I jus waned o direc your aenion o a paricular phoo ha’s been posed muliple imes on my wall.
As you’ll almos cerainly aes, he phoo in quesion feaures a genleman who has he “Shiies Job In he World.” On his, here can be no debae. Implici wih each phoo, is he suggesion ha I ry his paricular vocaion a he firs opporuniy.
o be oally ransparen, and risk saing he obvious, he aciviy in quesion would make for a fanasic segmen on Diry Jobs. he subjec in he phoo, (a souheared and resolue oiler named Brannon,) rerieves a vas assormen of rinkes misakenly flushed down a muliude of oiles in Ausralia. he acual rerieval process akes place a he wase waer reamen plan. here, he aains he los iems afer he fac, by donning an airigh proecive sui, and hrowing himself ino he excremen. In his way, he emps fae by humbing his nose a everyhing from eanus o hepaiis.
Again, o sae he self-eviden, here was a ime no o long ago when I’d have aken he opporuniy o marinae myself in the sool of ohers for he good of he show…bu ha ship has sailed. You see, Diry Jobs – he V show – has been ou of producion for over hree years now, a fac ha coninues o be los on a majoiry of he prolearia. Bu i’s rue, neverheless.
ruh be old, he ile of my new show, Somebody’s Goa Do I, does sugges a cerain poenial for scaalogical conen, bu rus me on his, I’m no longer iilaed by he prospec of ackling feces from my own species on such a ianic scale.
o be absoluely clear – my curren commimen wih respec o direc ineracion wih urds no longer consiues a conracual obligaion. herefor, I mus respecfully decline hese muliudinous inviaions to saurae myself in excrea, sool, caca, or any oher ype of wase maer.
Bu I am as ever, graeful for he hough, and forever indebed o hose who immerse hemselves in all maer of dung, meaphorical or oherwise, for he beermen of polie sociey, and he fuure of mankind.
Yours ruly,