Cadaver Chic
People often say to me, “Mike, your skin is so luminous. What’s your secret? How do you maintain such a rugged yet healthy complexion?”
Well friends, I’d like to tell you it’s all a function of clean living, but the truth is, I’ve relied on a number of high-end concealers for most of my professional career, and today, I’d like to share them with you. These simple beauty tips have quite literally changed my life, by allowing me to cover my many flaws without undergoing the costly and time-consuming process of curing the underlying problem. Acne for instance, along with canker sores and hives have plagued me for decades. Of course, such indignities can can be “treated” with an endless array of expensive creams and ointments, but with Cadaver Grey, why bother? A quick layer evenly applied with a common sponge and you’re good to go! Likewise boils and carbuncles. Why endure the painful lancing of a sabacaeous cyst when a quick coating of Sallow Green will leave no one the wiser?
For more serious ailments, like rosacea, eczema, or the heartbreak of psoriasis, I prefer Death’s Straw, and for those really pesky ailments – like keloids, impetigo, acrodermatitis, and even necrotizing fasciitis, don’t waste valuable time in the emergency room. Just break out the Death Flesh and apply as needed. Just like that – you’re camera ready!
Trust me – life is too short to sweat the small stuff. With my four-step process you can enjoy everyday like it’s your last. Appearance matters, and all modesty aside, I think mine speaks for itself. Wouldn’t you like to say the same of yours? Now, you can! Enjoy…
PS These all-natural-beauty aids can be purchased on line, but should NOT be used in excess, as they create an almost irresistible allure among strangers of the opposite sex. You’re welcome.