After arriving at SFO with no wallet and no ID, I finally made it to Baltimore, where I learned the fundraiser I’ll be attending on Saturday is a black tie affair. Naturally, my tuxedo is 3,000 miles away, along with my fancy shirt, fancy vest, fancy shoes, and fancy cuff links. And of course, my wallet. Unbelievable. I’d forget my feet if they weren’t attached to my legs.
Anyway, as you might imagine, I don’t pay much attention to dress codes primarily because most of my suits are rubber. However, the prospect of addressing a formal gathering in a fancy ballroom bedecked in my very best ball cap and cleanest henley seemed a tad disrespectful. So I ventured out of my hotel this morning in search of appropriate attire, and found myself entering the warehouse of Christopher Schafer – Baltimore’s Best Tailor.
Christopher looks a lot like Paul Giamatti, and posses the same level of artistry and talent, albeit, directed toward another medium. According to his website, he makes “Clothing Fit For Your Lifestyle and Attitude.” He does everything by hand, and is by all accounts, the go-to guy for a Fashion-Forward Beau Brummell like myself.
Unfortunately, none of what Chris had readily available could contain my current body mass, which is truly unfortunate, because I can think of no greater joy than appearing before the good people at Project Jumpstart in any of the outfits pictured here. Christopher however, persuaded me that my own Lifestyle and Attitude would be better served by a more traditional option. After a few quick but sobering measurements, Christopher made a call to The Tuxedo House, who graciously agreed to expedite something tasteful in a European Husky.
And so, in the past 24 hours, I have become indebted to both The TSA and a fashion-forward tailor in Baltimore – a sensation I daresay has never before been expressed in writing.