Who Wore it Better?

Eric Loes writes…

Modeling a mask from the Mike Rowe Fall collection. I think it is very slimming on my 7 3/4″ some call fat head….and the most comfortable mask I have ever worn…(for those that are into masks). Departing BNA and headed to MSP to say goodbye to my 91 yr. father-in-law who was a Korean War bronze star and 2x purple heart recipient and a guy that spent much of his free time in his shop attached to his garage tinkering with things, using one of his hundreds of screwdrivers that he collected over the decades. Twenty years ago he and I built a workbench in my Franklin TN garage that I treasure and use to this day.

Hi Eric,

Thanks for your note, your photo, and your extraordinary taste in mandatory face-coverings that are both ineffective and overpriced, yet excellent at raising money for my foundation. Well, done!

You’ll be pleased to know that our slightly subversive Safety Third masks have raised well over $300,000 so far, 100% of which goes straight to our Work Ethic Scholarship fund. I’m much obliged for your support, and duty-bound to shamelessly direct all those who question the wisdom of a Safety First approach to life to follow your example with a similar purchase. https://www.bfit540.com/prod…/mikeroweworks-rectangle-mask

As you can see, I too, am about to fly the not-so-friendly skies – specifically, the skies above SFO, which are currently filled with something called a “bomb cyclone.” The irony on this particular flight is especially delicious. As we prepare to taxi down the runway in gusting winds and sideways rain, the safety demonstration comes to an end, and the pilot hops on the PA to assure us in soothing tones that “our safety is his top priority.” Really? He says this with a straight face, seconds after inviting us to strap ourselves into a pressurized aluminum tube, and seconds before we attempt to defy gravity and hurtle through a bomb cyclone at 600 miles an hour. And this is happening because nothing is more important than Safety? Really?

Just once, I wish they’d talk to us like grownups.

“Welcome aboard folks, and thanks for trusting me with your life. I can’t promise you that we’ll make it to our destination today. Obviously, I like our chances, but as you can plainly see, it’s raining like a bitch out there, and conditions are far from ideal. No need to worry – I’ve been doing this a while, and I’ve flown in worse. I’m confident we’ll get to Charlotte, as scheduled. But let’s not kid ourselves – the world is a risky place, and while there are many things, we can do to minimize that risk, we can never hope to eliminate it, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to pretend otherwise. To say it as clearly as possible, your safety is important to this airline, but it’s not the reason we’re in business. We’re in business to get you from point A to point B, and that’s precisely what I intend to do. So, strap in, follow the flight attendant’s instructions, keep your hands to yourself, and try not to be an asshole. I’ll see you on the ground.”

Safety Third!


P.S. Sorry about your father-in-law. With a bronze star and two purple hearts, something tells me he’s not a Safety First kind of guy. If he’s still with us, please give him my regards and thank him for his service. Sounds like a hell of a man.
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