You won’t believe all the “F’’s out there…

Some of you know Shari at mikeroweWORKS. Among other things, Shari keeps an eye out for “fake news” that involves yours truly. Sadly, Shari’s been busy here of late. Recently, she sent me this…
Hi Boss

Yesterday, I was contacted by another real person about another fake interview wherein you recount your past struggles in the boudoir. I’ve gotten the “article” removed from several sites, but it continues to pop up, (if you will,) all over the place. So I’ve been busy playing Whack-a-Mole, (as it were,) trying to protect your reputation between the sheets.

Additionally, another fake Mike Rowe on Instagram is contacting your friends on Facebook. (I do not know if the latest fake Mike Rowe suffers from erectile dysfunction, but I sure hope he does, and I hope he orders some of those fake pills from that crooked company that The Real Mike Rowe isn’t endorsing.)

Anyway, I reported this to Instagram, who promptly banished this latest fake Mike Rowe, which made the real Shari feel very satisfied. Unfortunately, I was just contacted by another real fan, telling me that yet another fake Mike Rowe, was trying to arrange yet another real meeting. I’ve alerted Instagram, again.

Yours in Mole-Whacking,

The Real Shari…
Like Shari, I prefer to maintain a sense of humor about the tumescence of my tallywacker, as well as the flurry of impostors out there claiming to be me. (I can’t imagine these two scams are related, although I suppose there’s a certain logic in pretending to be someone who just stumbled upon the secret of sexual dynamism.) Either way, the Instagram thing is a potentially serious problem, because some of these Fake Mike Rowe’s are trying to arrange personal meetings. And some apparently, have succeeded. Not much I can do about that, other than remind everyone here that while I adore you all, I’ll never contact you on social media, or suggest we met in real life. Never ever.

As for this other scam, I can only tell you that I’ve been here before, many times. (Just ask my parents.) There’s nothing new to add, but there are a few things worth repeating. Namely this:

The internet is seething with fake articles about real celebrities talking candidly about their bad skin, their flabby arms, their yellow teeth, their crossed-eyes, their rolls of fat, and of course, their problems below the belt. Invariably, the real celebrities in these fake articles credit a product they’ve never heard of with curing their imaginary condition. Others, (like me, apparently,) are so grateful for their miraculous transformation, they go into business with Dr. Phil, so that other men trying to shoot pool with a wet noodle might find hope.

My business is built on trust, as is my foundation. And so, I spend a lot of time online, trying to reinforce that trust with those who find me interesting enough to keep up with. But the truth is, the Internet should not be trusted, and neither should I. Not because I’ve been untrustworthy – I haven’t. But because I can’t very well ask you to believe me, without being able to assure you that the words attributed to me are actually mine. And that’s no longer possible online.

So…if you’ve read something attributed to me somewhere other than this page,, or, I’d like to take this opportunity to encourage you to remain skeptical. Deeply, profoundly, and relentlessly skeptical. Not cynical – the holidays are no time for cynicism. But healthy skepticism is always in season, especially when you have nothing to hide. And doubly especially when it comes to my twigs and berries…

Ergo, caveat emptor!

PS. When in doubt, check with the BBB. You won’t believe all the “F’’s out there…”

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