Uncle Rob, The Real Santa Claus

I’m not sure how it happened, or when, but somewhere along the line, my Uncle Rob became The Real Santa Claus.Uncle Rob as Santa

Once upon a time, he made the wood stove that heated the house I grew up in. It weighed about a thousand pounds, and threw off heat like a cast-iron supernova. I sat on it once, and still have a funny mark on my butt where the melted denim stuck to me. My dad said I was lucky I didn’t “fuse the crack shut.” Indeed.

Uncle Rob as SantaIt pleases me to know that The Real Santa Claus is a professional welder, mechanic, hunter, fisherman, and overall Jack-of-all-Trades, beloved by the children around the world. I like that kids wait in line for hours to sit and pee on him. I also admire the patience he exudes, and the joy he brings to his community every year. Perhaps one day, I’ll give him a run for his money.Santa Mike Rowe

But probably not.

Merry Christmas, Uncle Santa. And keep it dirty.


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