Mike – Good Lord, man. How could you possibly confuse Young Frankenstein with Blazing Saddles? Have you had a stroke or something? JB Parsons
Hi JB
Maybe, if I live for another 60 years, I’ll screw up the first ten seconds of a big interview in a more obvious fashion than I did with the first ten seconds of my recent conversation with Joe Rogan, but I doubt it. While a stroke is one possible explanation, here’s another.
Before we began our three-hour conversation, (which is excellent, by the way,) Joe Rogan asked me if I liked cigars.
“Sure,” I said. “Who doesn’t like cigars?”
Joe handed me one, along with a mysterious device from the future. It was the size of large domino, but thicker and heavier, with no discernable moving parts. I looked at it, the way a cow might look at a new gate.
Sensing my confusion, Joe said, “Just flip back the tip, and slide the button forward.”
There was no tip to flip. At least, not that I could see. And there was no button to slide.
“Turn it over,” said Joe. “No…not that way – you’ve got it upside down.”
Truth is, I didn’t really want a cigar. I was just trying to be polite. While I do enjoy them from time to time, I hadn’t smoked one in years. In fact, the last time I lit up, I used these things called a “matches.” Maybe you’ve heard of them? They’re super simple to operate. You just drag the red part over a flint, apply the flame to one end of the cigar, and start sucking on the other.
Well, Joe didn’t have any matches. He just had this device from the future that shot out a blue flame hotter than the surface of the sun. The flame was accompanied by a loud whooshing sound, like the sound a cutting torch makes when you turn up the oxygen. I don’t know if it was butane, gasoline, propane, or a laser beam, but the heat thrown from this mighty device lit my cigar in a millisecond, and I was instantly enveloped in a thick cloud of smoke.
At this precise moment, Joe’s producer, Jamie, hit the record button, and I thought about that great scene in my favorite Mel Brooks movie. You know the movie, and you know the scene. Everyone does. A blind priest, living alone in the woods, unwittingly invites The Creature into his cabin for supper. After spilling hot soup into the crotch of his guest, the blind priest then offers The Creature a cigar, but sets his thumb on fire when he tries to light it for him. Hilarity ensues.
“Joe,” I said. “Remember that scene from Blazing Saddles? When Gene Hackman offers Peter Boyle a cigar?”
“No,” said Joe. “I don’t remember that scene.”
I was surprised. How could a professional comedian like Joe Rogan not remember that iconic moment between Gene Hackman and Peter Boyle? This morning, however, after scrolling through hundreds of comments like yours, I learned that I had conflated Young Frankenstein with Blazing Saddles.
I’m not one to make excuses, JB. I accept full responsibility for my error, and I genuinely appreciate the many JRE fans who took a moment to gently point out my idiocy in the comments section, and wonder aloud how a man of my experience could make such an unforced blunder. Believe me, I’m wondering the same thing myself. But I’m also wondering if Joe Rogan was being honest when he said he didn’t recall such an iconic scene in American comedy? Is it possible that Joe feigned ignorance, because he didn’t want to start our conversation by correcting me in front of 12 million people. In other words, I wonder if Joe was just trying to be polite?
If you listen to the first minute of our conversation, it sure sounds that’s way. After telling me he doesn’t remember that unforgettable scene, Joe quickly turns to Jamie and says, “Hey, that’s a real f@cking distraction,” referring to the heavy breathing that was coming from Jamie’s adorable Frenchie, Carl, who was running amuck on Jamie’s desk. “Are we going to have to tranquilize him?” Everyone laughs, and then Joe takes our conversation in a completely different direction, never to return to Young Frankenstein or Blazing Saddles.
So. Was Joe Rogan just trying to be being polite, or did he really not recognize one of the most famous comedy scenes in American cinema?
I have no idea, but since it’s Thanksgiving, I’m just going to say that no one ever made a mistake by trying to be polite. And no one ever wound up feeling sorry for themselves, by choosing to be grateful. With that in mind, I’d like to say that I’m grateful that I didn’t have a stroke; I was just distracted by the power of a cigar lighter that doubles as torch cutter.
I’m also grateful for the chance to have finally appeared on Joe’s show, and no less grateful to Mel Brooks, for making two great movies, neither of which could be made today, and both of which I’m going to rewatch this weekend.
Of course, I’m grateful for a good deal more than that, but let’s not get sidetracked. For now, I’ll simply wish all of you the happiest Thanksgiving possible, ever and remind you that my whole conversation with Joe Rogan is here. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dpx_2eUyvqc Including the very beginning, where my encyclopedic ignorance of American cinema is now persevered for posterity. Enjoy!
PS. I’m also grateful for the last two minutes of our conversation, wherein I shamelessly plug the one-of-a-kind mikeroweWORKS work truck, which will be auctioned off by Barrett-Jackson in late January. Joe shared many photos and was super excited by what my friends at Sugar Creek built. I hope the rest of the country is, too. It’s gonna be a great fundraiser. https://moparinsiders.com/custom-1962-dodge-power-wagon…/