I have a question regarding the magnificent painting you’ve put up for auction. Several questions, actually. First of all, how did you keep a straight face making that video? Very impressive. Secondly, how will people know the cock in question is yours? Is there some sort of “Certificate of Authenticity” that comes with the painting? Thirdly, just how big is this thing? (It’s important.) Finally, did you ever imagine your cock would fetch over $4,000? And what would you say to those who find your fundraising efforts a bit…hard to swallow? Janet Dawes
Hi Janet. Excellent questions. I’ll answer them all, but first let me first reiterate that every penny raised from the sale of my cock goes to The mikeroweWORKS Foundation. As you may know, our work ethic scholarship program relies upon a variety of non-traditional fundraisers, and I’m happy to say that my C.R.A.P. auctions, (Collectibles Rare And Precious,) have raised a pretty penny over the years. It was only a matter of time till my cock finally stepped up and took one for the team. Bid here. https://ebay.to/2G64mnw
2. My cock is just 14” long and 10” wide. Smaller than one might expect. On the positive side, it’ll fit just about anywhere.
3. The official name of my cock is “The Chairman of the Board,” and it took 2nd place at The Maryland State Fair. It was painted by Nancy Fine, a very talented artist who happens to be a second cousin once removed. Or perhaps, a first cousin twice removed. I’m not sure. Either way, I believe we can safely say this is a “Fine Cock,” donated by a “Fine Artist” for a cause that shouldn’t be hard to swallow. You can check out her other work here.https://www.instagram.com/nancykfine/?hl=en
5. I don’t have an actual Certificate of Authenticity, but I’m happy to include the attached photo of me, with my cock in my hands. That should assuage any skepticism from those who question the provenance of the piece. Also, my cock is autographed on the back. By me. It wasn’t easy, but I did it.
6. Regarding the video, I’m not sure what you mean. I just watched it again, and don’t see why a straight face would be difficult to maintain. I just see a guy selling a painting a rooster for a good cause. What do you see? https://bit.ly/2B6YPaL
7. Finally, I’m humbled by your interest in my cock. It’s touching. Sincerely. I hope it winds up well hung on a wall of your choosing.
Mike
PS. At the risk of overselling things, my cock would look great under the Christmas tree. Too big for a stocking stuffer, obviously, but just the thing for that special someone on your list who thinks they have everything…https://ebay.to/2G64mnw