Last Night in Baltimore

In a world with few new ideas, packed with people who all desire the same basic things, it’s not surprising to hear the same words over and over again, grouped up in the same predictable fashion. That’s why I’m drawn to sentences that I’m pretty sure have never been uttered before. Sentences like this one.
“Last night in Baltimore, while eating crabs with my parents at Captain James Landing, my mother made friends with the guy who owns The Hair Cuttery, and charmed him in a manner that resulted in some free coupons.”

PS. It appears I’m now doing a show in Manhattan on September 23. It’s at the Beacon Theater, and if you’re in the area and interested in hearing some other sentences that have no doubt never been uttered, get yourself a ticket post haste. Drop me a line there, and I’ll send you the presale code.

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