I’ll cut to the chase. Where the hell have you been? What the hell are you doing? Why the hell isn’t Freddy in my newsfeed? When the hell is your podcast coming back?
PS. Oh yeah. How the hell are ya? And what do you want for Christmas?
1.I’ve been the hell in Atlanta, Baltimore, Washington, and San Diego. Returned the hell to San Francisco yesterday. I won’t say it was hellish – but it was busy 10 days.
2.I’ve been working on a new project I can’t discuss yet. I’ve also been slumming with my parents, meeting with the press, rubbing elbows with a few big shots, and doing something the corporate consultants call “Team-Building.” In my case, that means forcing the unsuspecting staff of mikeroweWORKS to leap from a perfectly good airplane, and shoot large guns with a gang of Navy SEALS. Hell of a good time. More on that later.
3. Freddy is alive and well, but still an asshole, I’m afraid. Currently, he’s moping over my protracted absence, and somewhat ashamed I think, for peeing all over himself when I returned home late last night. He’s been pouting ever since. Even here, on his super fluffy sissy bed, bathed in the warm glow of a low-winter sun, he remains recalcitrant. Obviously, he can no longer be relied upon to appear every Friday. But he can still be trusted to pull the bacon out of my turkey wrap without asking. Like I said. Asshole.
4.The podcast, I’m pleased to say, will officially return on January 10th, come hell or high water. I’ve been scarce here of late, mostly because I’ve been writing new ones as fast as I can, and wrangling sponsors for what I suppose we can call Season 2. In the meantime, here’s a new one to tide you over. https://mikerowe.com/podcast/ It’s an homage of sorts, to The Loony Tunes, and my favorite lawsuit that never happened. While you’re listening, do me a favor and subscribe. It’s easy, and it makes me look good to the sponsors.
5. I’m doing great, thanks for asking. Doing all I can to ensure a quiet holiday void of unnecessary drama. I’ll be home all week, boycotting the malls, and better able to resume my daily assault on your daily news feed.
PS Regarding Christmas, my stocking is pretty well stuffed. However, if you’re looking to make a year-end tax-deductible donation, mikeroweWORKS would happily take some excess cash off your hands. You can donate at mikeroweworks.com. Or – for all you filthy one-percenters – the foundation now has a brokerage account that accepts stock as a donation. According to my accountant, there are “a host of significant advantages” to donating in this way. If you’re interested, drop me a line at firstname.lastname@example.org, and we’ll walk you through it.
PPS As long as you’re surfing the net and clicking on stuff, you might want to try out the 30-day free trial at audible.com/mikerowe. They’re our latest sponsor, and I’d love to show them that attaching my name to theirs actually results in something positive. Thanks.