Fridays With Freddy: Artistic Impression

I don’t know who this guy is, but he’s done a pretty good job capturing the Biped’s likeness.

Typically, I find the whole impressionistic thing a little too precious. Monet and Renoir both leave me anxious, and their obsession with all that shifting light and color gets a tad too dreamy. Of course, with no red receptors, I’m limited, but I still know what I like. And I can tell you I like this watercolor a lot more than all that lyrical abstraction and cubism and Fauvist nonsense, (though Darian and Matisse did some pretty cool things with color.) And it’s a hell of a lot more comprehensible than whatever that stuff is from Newman and Mondrian. (Onement VI for $43.8 million? Gimme a break.)

I guess I’m more of a Realist. Carracci, Van Eck, Courbet. In the end, I like my apples to look like apples. Which is why my only bitch with this particular portrait are my ears, which the artist has clearly confused with those of a fruit bat.

Freddy

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