They tell me that tomorrow morning, I’ll probably fall off the toilet. They tell me the pain will be exquisite – not from crapping – but from simply squatting. The tell me that bending down to tie my shoes will redefine my understanding of pain, and that putting on my pants will open new dimensions of agony previously untapped by any other athletic event known to man. They assure me I’ll return to my bed and curl up like a baby girl, trembling with shock and regret, ruing the day I decided to curl, but forever enchanted by the magnetic pull of this strange and wondrous sport.
I’ll let you know.
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