Sadly, today’s letter comes from a former fan.
“I called Mikes company to request an autograph for my son and the secretary (male) said, “Even if I knew his representative, I wouldn’t give you any information. * hangs up*
MIKE, you just lost a family of fans. Next time, choose a better company.
Katie Bremer Chen”
This is indeed, troubling. Like you, I’ve been operating under the assumption that everything I read on the world wide web is one hundred percent true. Alas, your note, and some recent correspondence with a deposed Nigerian Prince, have lead me to conclude otherwise.
To be clear, I have no agent, no manager, and no PR representatives. Nor do I employ a male secretary. I hope that isn’t sexist. I’m not opposed to the notion of hiring a man to answer the phone – I just can’t seem to find one with a crisp, well-modulated contralto. More importantly, Fan Mail Biz is not my company. I’ve never heard of them, and I’m very sorry you were lead to believe otherwise.
Point is Katie, I feel your pain, and I wish the Interwebs were a more trustworthy source of celebrity information. I realize it’s probably too late, but perhaps a signed photo with my compliments will help restore your faith in the species? If so, please send me your address as firstname.lastname@example.org. I’d be happy to personally send the above image to your address, from my hotel here in Washington.
Typically, I charge for personalized photos, and use the money to fund our ongoing PR campaign for skilled labor. But given your recent ordeal, I’d be a happy to send this along with my compliments. Or, you can always check out The Filthy-Foto-of-The-Month Club. It’s not really a Club. But like me, supplies are limited, and the image changes every month.
Sorry for all the bother.
PS If you get any unsolicited emails from a Nigerian Prince, heads up. I don’t think he’s he’s actual royalty…