Many of you know Barsky. He’s my good friend, my trusted ally, and the only director I know willing to work with me on a weekly basis. What many of you may not know is that Barsky often needs to be restrained. His temper of late has become unpredictable, and his ability to play well with others is virtually non-existent. On Dirty Jobs, he has become a danger to himself and others, and so I, in the interest of public safety, have had to take steps.
Happily, my friends at Master Lock have devised a new line of Work Truck Security devices, (or locks, as we used to call them,) ideal for the task at hand. Contractors and other people with real jobs will no doubt utilize these products to safeguard their generators, chainsaws, gas cans, lawn mowers, and God-knows what else they have to cart around on a daily basis. I’ll be using them to protect my friend from himself, and keep him under control as we blunder through yet another season of the dirty show that will not die.
As you can plainly see from my steely visage, I’m quite serious about my new partnership with Master Lock, and very pleased that they have agreed to help spread the mrW message into the distant corners of polite society, or at the very least, into the aisles of a hardware store near you. Indeed, this very sign will stare down at unsuspecting consumers from a number of strategically placed kiosks, inspiring them to think twice about about the value of hard work and skilled labor. In return for their generous support of my efforts here, I’ll be helping Master lock bring these fabulous products to market in a style that many of you will recognize. To wit, I’ve agreed to demonstrate these locks in a series of groundbreaking web videos guaranteed to consummate the inevitable marriage of commerce and entertainment. You may view a piece of timeless cinema here, and marvel as Barsky makes yet another fashion statement in his serendipitous journey to B-List notoriety.
All great tales need a villain, and I wanted a credible crook to visually reinforce the need for this new line of products. Obviously, Barsky reeks of suspicion and looks shifty in the best of circumstances, so it seemed both logical and obvious to dress him as The Hamburglar and have him play the role of a thief. Ideally, I would have had him costumed as one of the bad guys in A Christmas Story – the ones that Ralphie shot at with his Red Ryder BB Gun. But in these endeavors, you work with the wardrobe and personnel at your disposal.
The bottom line is this – mrW and Master Lock are partners, The Work Truck Security System is ingenious, and Barsky is safely restrained.